My son turned one this week. Sigh. Last year he was just this little meatloaf we cuddled and posed with his big sister and our giant bulldog (naturally). I decided it would be nice to throw him a little party. After all, we have birthday parties for his big sister (precedent) plus with his birthday in the Christmas season, it made sense to tie it in with some holiday cheer for family and friends (two birds, one stone).
It all sounded easy enough at the time. There would be food, drink, family, kids and cake. I struggled a bit with theme since he isn’t really crazy for anything aside from his hot sitter. My husband suggested I arrange to have her jump out of a cake. So in between Googling divorce attorneys I Googled some cake ideas and narrowed it down to this sweet Hungry Caterpillar cake or the show stopping Cookie Monster cupcakes. I thought of the oohs and aahs and perhaps a small applause as I bask in the glow of the one candle and my domestic godessness.
Of course, I am not @TheNextMartha, but I had myself convinced I could pull this all off. Until I got a call last Friday. Could I start a new job on Monday? Um, sure. Could I start an hour and a half earlier than I presently start? Oh - that depends on whether business casual means pajamas and a pony tail. It doesn't? Hmm. I will try.
I did try. I somewhat succeeded. The children went feral, my husband went missing (soccer) and I drank enough coffee to throw off the commodities trading for the week.
And now it is the day before his birthday party and guess what I have done? Zip. Nada. We are out of milk, toilet paper and apparently, dignity. I think my family ate mandarin oranges for supper. Canned mandarin oranges. Our house looks like it was ransacked by gypsies who were seeking refuge from a pack of rabid mongoose who in turn, tracked them to our home and tore it apart trying to find them. Even hot sitter is looking a little weathered (you have to look closely).
Now I am exhausted. Another long day ahead and I wonder what the heck I can pull out of my hat to save the day and leave everyone wondering “How the hell does she do it?” rather than “How old do you think the sitter is?”
I love the part where you googled divorced attornys! After the first 80 parties I've learned...bday kid picks dinner, family has a cake, and then a few gifts. Done! Easy! And if anything gets mucked up it's just your family anyway, so no presure.
Posted by: raquel | 12/10/2010 at 06:05 AM
Funny, funny, funny!! But, on a serious note, you should know that making creative birthday cakes is very, very bad for your health. With the influx of cake/baked good themed shows, I believe that cake making and decorating has become far too mainstream. It is not as easy as it looks and should really only be attempted by professionals.
Now, proceed to the store and BUY a beautiful cake for your son. Psst...he'll never know.
Happy Birthday to your little one!
Posted by: Melissa | 12/10/2010 at 12:59 PM
I would totally help you. Do you have any friends that might have left over stuff from a party? Don't dismiss a store bought cake with his face spray painted on it. Always a winner. Just get some balloons to spread around. Have the cake be the centerpiece. Have a "1" balloon above the cake. It's not the decor that makes the party. It's the people. He's too young to care so you have that going for you. Wait until he's 2 to show off.
Posted by: TheNextMartha | 12/10/2010 at 05:43 PM
Funny! Your blog totally cracks me up! Before I started reading, I saw the cake and cupcakes and thought " I could relate to her, but this throws it off a bit" and then I kept reading. Whew, that was a close one!
Posted by: Kinzie | 12/10/2010 at 08:16 PM
In this order;
Purchase cake
Clean the toilet
Provide cocktails & juice boxes as appropriate.
Posted by: Susan | 12/11/2010 at 11:36 AM
My kids learned early on that they had two choices. A decorated store-bought cake or an undecorated (or do M&Ms scattered on top count as decoration?)homemade cake that tastes good. Believe it or not, they consistently chose the homemade cake sans decorations.
I think birthday parties have gotten way out of hand. We recently attended what I consider to be the perfect party. Family, a handful of close friends of the birthday boy, a few simple decorations, a homemade cake (made and decorated by the father who did a really good job), several delivered pizzas and simple gifts. The 11 year old birthday boy seemed pleased and it was a fun and relaxed event for everyone.
Posted by: Deanna Piercy | 12/11/2010 at 08:12 PM
Damn those hot sitters! They are bad for our egos! Good luck this week!
Posted by: stephanie | 12/13/2010 at 06:26 PM
Hilarious! I think I would have looked up the divorce attorney too. I look for the ugliest babysitters I can find. Truly! :-)
Posted by: lisa @boondockramblings | 12/15/2010 at 04:33 PM
That sounds like how all my plans go - huge in the lead up but then I discover I've done nothing the it's time to have everything ready! But I don't know, I've never been to a party with a cake jumper, that could be quite the talk of the town!
Posted by: Megan (Best of Fates) | 12/17/2010 at 08:56 AM
Ha! Just wait till he starts making party requests...I thought I could get away with the store bought cakes for at least a few years yet, until my son requested a "rockstar dinosaur birthday party" for his third birthday. I wanted to say, "Ahem...let me introduce you to your mother!" Good lord!
Hope you made it through ok :)
Posted by: Kristy | 12/19/2010 at 01:43 AM