10 Answers From "Fat" Moms

 

There are a lot of January weight loss tweets and posts going around and to be honest they make me cringe. Perhaps I find them a painful reminder of my own battle of the baby-bulge or because I feel that moms have enough pressures without the added expectation to look as if you did not carry a child for nine months but rather had the baby fall out of your womb rather unexpectedly during a 'downward dog' pose.

 A while back I wrote a post 10 Question For Skinny Moms, it won first place at Humor Press (applause). Anyway, some skinny moms popped by my comment board and suggested this post was a bit “unfair.”

I suppose they have a point (and it’s not just their collar bones) so  in an effort balance out the universe I am providing a follow up post from “fat” moms (gasp).

So for any mom who feels fat, is fat or has fat thoughts this is for you.

10 Answers From “Fat” Moms

1. No, I did not come from the gym; I am just partial to any clothing with a stretchy waist band.
2. Yes, I can use my cleavage for extra storage; in fact there are probably some cheerios in there right now.
3. Of course I feed my feelings, if I didn’t they would starve.
4. No, I have not tried it because no one has ever walked into a house and said “Mmm, is that quinoa I smell cooking?”
5. No, I do not want to "try" jogging with you. If God wanted moms to jog he would have given Mary a pair of Nikes along with the baby Jesus.
6. Yes, I do think of my body as a temple. A temple that worships chocolate.
7. No, I do not have a slow metabolism; it’s just that cupcakes are faster.
8. Yes, my milkshake bring the boys to the yard and yes, it’s better than your venti soy light whip.
9. No, I am not jealous of your firmness, just your ability to leave the house sans bra.
10. Yes, you can have a “smidge”’ of my brownie, your secret is safe with me, Thinderella.

 

Comments

[Jen]

I plan on using these answers all the time!

[BuenoBaby]

My stomach muscles hurt from laughing at #4! I wonder if that counts as crunches?

[Heather]

Sigh so wonderful. I will resend to all the skinny quinoa moms that lurk in my Neighbourhood. 3 in the bed you are my hero:). Www.4amblogger.com

[jackson physician]

Made me laugh hard. But these are facts.

[Kelley]

So funny! Congratulations on your post at Humor Press. Will check it out, too!

[PartlySunny]

The quinoa is killing me. Kill-ing me.

[Kristy]

Number 1...I've claimed it. It's mine. DON'T TOUCH!

Funny, as always, but I must admit: I love quinoa. I made a lovely quinoa dish for breakfast the other morning (no, I'm not being sarcastic, I really did) that my husband left out, then threw in the garbage. I almost ate HIM for the offense! He's still not allowed back in the house.

[Lisa]

You are unfairly and fantastically funny.

[Monica Parlee]

I'm still laughing!!!! I'm from New Brunswick and I'm trying to follow as many of my fellow Canadian bloggers as possible. I’m now your newest follower on GFC. Hope you have a chance to check out my blog, have a look around and maybe follow me back!!
Monica
http://oldermommystillyummy.blogspot.com/

[kim sisto robinson]

~~~I'll split that brownie with ya :) xx

[Caryn]

Ok, you have totally won me over.. not because you're hysterically funny, (which you are) but because, I LOVE "thinderella" and now must use it until my friends and family grow sick of it. ;)

[Ado]

I CAN'T believe that the skinny moms came to your blog to complain! LOL. That is so funny. Great post, going to read more now. Just found your blog and glad I did.

[mominrome]

first time here.
like it!! :))

[Hirshel Donnelly]

LOL! Those are the answers, girl! I like what you mentioned in #2, hehe… Some moms might as well answer the same things. Not to mention they can add more depending on what experiences they have had in their lives. ;)