There is perhaps no greater obstacle in a parent's day than bedtime. Of course, there is that smug clan of parents who can't relate to bedtime burdens. It's lights out by 7pm, kitchen clean by 7:30 and then pop open a nice Chardonnay and watch Dancing With the Stars. To you I say solemnly, we can't be friends. I have parenting esteem issues as it is and either you are cashing in on some previous life karma or you share that Chardonnay with the kids.
Anyway, I got to thinking the other night during another round of bedtime drama that there is a rather good connection between the stages of bedtime and the stages of grief. Here are my observations.
Stage One: Shock & Denial.
OMG, is that the time!?! That can't be the right time...
Stage Two: Pain & Guilt.
I am a terrible parent. My children will be obese and have poor brain development because I have de-prioritized their twelve hours of sleep.
Stage Three: Anger & Bargaining
Get to bed - now! now! now! Yes, you can wear your cinderella dress with a cowboy hat to bed and hot fudge sundaes for breakfast, just get in bed - NOW!
Stage Four: Depression & Loneliness
Eat hot fudge sundae alone in the kitchen and contemplate what a normal family is and what time they may go to bed at.
Stage Five: The Upward Turn
Wine.
Stage Six: Reconstruction & Working Through
Google "how to get kids to bed" while drinking wine.
Stage Seven: Acceptance & Hope
I will never get to watch Dancing With The Stars alone with a glass of Chardonnay. There is hope however, for some tivo and tequila...
