There are a lot of January weight loss tweets and posts going around and to be honest they make me cringe. Perhaps I find them a painful reminder of my own battle of the baby-bulge or because I feel that moms have enough pressures without the added expectation to look as if you did not carry a child for nine months but rather had the baby fall out of your womb rather unexpectedly during a 'downward dog' pose.
A while back I wrote a post 10 Question For Skinny Moms, it won first place at Humor Press (applause). Anyway, some skinny moms popped by my comment board and suggested this post was a bit “unfair.”
I suppose they have a point (and it’s not just their collar bones) so in an effort balance out the universe I am providing a follow up post from “fat” moms (gasp).
So for any mom who feels fat, is fat or has fat thoughts this is for you.
10 Answers From “Fat” Moms
- No, I did not come from the gym; I am just partial to any clothing with a stretchy waist band.
- Yes, I can use my cleavage for extra storage; in fact there are probably some cheerios in there right now.
- Of course I feed my feelings, if I didn’t they would starve.
- No, I have not tried it because no one has ever walked into a house and said “Mmm, is that quinoa I smell cooking?”
- No, I do not want to "try" jogging with you. If God wanted moms to jog he would have given Mary a pair of Nikes along with the baby Jesus.
- Yes, I do think of my body as a temple. A temple that worships chocolate.
- No, I do not have a slow metabolism; it’s just that cupcakes are faster.
- Yes, my milkshake bring the boys to the yard and yes, it’s better than your venti soy light whip.
- No, I am not jealous of your firmness, just your ability to leave the house sans bra.
- Yes, you can have a “smidge”’ of my brownie, your secret is safe with me, Thinderella.
